Let me help you to deal with transgender people in the best way possible, by now if you have landed here, you might know someone who is transgender. It is not the end of the world, but it is in fact the end of the old person you used to know. What do I mean by this, well a new person will be emerging as this person becomes who they have always thought themselves to be. The old person, will be left in the past and a new one will emerge, with a new name and pronouns. Often in the case of a MTF or Male to female, with a fabulous new wardrobe. There will be changes in this person, some of overflowing happiness, now they don’t have to hide. They will be looking at the world through fresh new eyes and possibilities. Some changes also will be of confusion and struggle. The choice is yours in what part you will play in their journey, either it be a positive voice or negative one, my hope is that you the reader will be positive.
Gender is in fact between the ears, not between the legs as previously explained in health classes. To put this in perspective for people who cannot understand this, imagine tomorrow you woke up in the opposite gender of the one you were born. Women you are now men, and guys your now a female. If your used to painting your nails, having your long hair, wearing dresses and heels or whatever you do that you enjoy about being a female. Think of all those things, men do this too, what do you enjoy about being a male? Do you like trucks, suits and ties? Or is it that you enjoy going out hunting and playing in the mud? I’m not trying to stereotype genders, I know plenty of women who love to fish and hunt and play in the mud. What I am trying to do is create a picture that is a transpersons life until transitioning. They are born in that opposite body, the mind naturally goes to that gender but the body is not in alignment with the brain. The transperson has known this their whole life, its a deep secret that many hide. This will end for you after the second you stop thinking about the possibility, but for a transgender person it never ends. It gets better thru transitioning and positive peer support.
The best way to support someone who is transgender is to use the correct pronouns to correspond with that persons chosen gender. They are still the same person you knew, the personality is the same, this is the true version of this persons self. if they are willing to show it to you and trust you then you are very important to them. It will be hard for you at first to accept the new word of “her”/”he” were you once used them reversed. You are used to knowing this person one way, now its another, but the key is progress to the new words. Like I stated previously the personality is still there, they still have the same interest in the things they used to have, just use the new pronoun when speaking with them. That small thing to someone who is transgender is like giving them a million dollars. Its a small gift in the form of a word that you can say that is extremely important. Also the name they previously held should not be used in addressing them any longer. Just because…Its my best friend, or its my sister/ brother. I’m so close to them I can use it……..let me assure you this is not ok, and is in fact harmful to the person your claiming to be so close with. So if you want to support them, use the right name and pronouns, it will mean so much to the person.
A cruel world, people who simply refuse to accept that this is how it is. How many times have I heard they would not understand or I will be disowned, kids kicked out with no where to go. Society will shun me, I just don’t have the courage and my parents will never talk to me again. I hate to brake the faith but trans cannot be prayed away, conversion therapy is a lie and extremely hurtful. The only answer is to either be a positive loving force in this persons life, that is it….. they will need you. Parents, your kids need you to help them, they need lots of support to help them through the changes they will go thru. The last thing they need is more grief from their parents and they are not doing this to make your life hell or punish you. Talk to them, the first step is understanding, you did nothing wrong. A parent cannot make a child transgender, they are born this way, and some children are showing their parents at very early age, what gender they are. If you know a parent of a transgender child reach out to them as a friend. We all need help and acceptance and sometimes just having someone say hello is all someone needs to know its okay….big or small do not underestimate the power of a positive influence on another person.
Its as important as life and death, at the end of last year Leelah Alcorn from Ohio, walked in front of a semi on interstate 71, hours later in a tumblr post she revealed her cause of why. She was tired her family had not accepted her, she was put thru conversion therapy to rid her of wanting to be a girl. I imagine that the final blow to her was that in her last Christmas, she wrote in her note that she received all boy clothes. She had no help and had been isolated locked in a world that was trying to tell her she would never get out of, and was being forced to live in a way that she saw no out. Suicide is never the answer and I wished the world could have helped her before she took her life. In her death comes great cause, it helped me to get up off my ass, this just may be some small blog but if you throw a pebble into a pond no matter how big the pebble it still makes waves. I want to help, in a world where a child like Leelah thinks she is all alone with no way out. The last sentence of the suicide note was “Fix Society Please”, my first blog post I’m dedicating to her, may you fly high pretty girl.
I am the Transporter, until next time.